Friday, January 5, 2018

Where I am now.

 My cast came off a week ago and this picture is what my foot looked like underneath it. All the steri-strips are gone now and so is a bunch of dried skin - though not all. I am getting used to walking again first with a set of crutches and holding most of the weight off the foot, now with a cane for balance. I am walking around the house and resuming picking the kids up from school. It feels good to slowly get my life back. My husband, the kids, friends and family really helped out and pulled together. Two ladies whose daughters are friends with mine and an old friend of the family did all the kid pick ups for six weeks. They are amazing! It is very cold right now and when it warms up a bit I will be walking outside. I have an old walker and will be taking that on outside walks to help balance especially with ice and snow on the sidewalks rather than count on a cane. Each step still hurts but not as badly as they did the first day.

I am slowly taking back household duties and very glad of it. I have often struggled with the idea of self-worth as a homemaker in today's career focus world. I have had woman angry with me for being a traitor to the women's movement, not realizing that the whole point was choice. This is my choice and I accord you the privilege to make your own choice regardless of your gender, identity, or upbringing to make it. I mourn for those whose circumstances do not allow for any choice, most especially those who feel trapped by those circumstances. Still it is hard to feel your self worth tied to very repetitive and often very unappreciated tasks. Seeing the impact of my labor, effort, and care being removed from our lives has focused my understanding of the value of my labor. So hobbling along in my boot, I am reclaiming my role, blessing my family with my labor. I am also working (or planning to work) toward simplifying, streamlining, and setting systems in place to ease and safeguard against future problems. A lot of that means more work but that is okay.

I want to value my work more and value myself more. One of the ways I am doing that it to focus on my health and to make clothing and things for myself that make me feel good. I will be making for my family too. 

The first cast on of the year is for me, this split back tank top. The photo is of my computer screen and is the designers image. I am making this in a white recycled cotton yarn for the edging and a cotton and seacell - rayon made from kelp - yarn in blues and mauve. I am really loving it.

Fingers crossed that I have enough yarn as both are discontinued and have been for years. This is also a stash busting project! I bought these yarns years and years ago from Beading Heart Studio which is also long gone! Miss it and the community of ladies who supported it. It will be the first project I make for the year of the garment kal with Kristen at Yarngasm podcast.


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