Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Where have I been?

I last posted in September.

Also in September I was walking down the stairs at a violin lesson for the girls, I stepped down and everyone heard a loud popping noise. Luckily, I was holding the railing - I am a clutz and always hold the rail - as there was suddenly intense pain in my left ankle. We got downstairs to the room the class was to be in and there was a note stating we needed to go back up stairs as Badger's teacher was ill and his wife, Bunny's teacher would be covering our class. We got upstairs and that teacher had arranged for a different teacher to cover the first part of the class, so back down we go. I slipped a salonpas (love them btw) on my ankle and thankfully sat down. A half hour past and back up we go. The ankle is not doing well. I propped it up on a chair and realize it is twice its normal size. Badger's class ends, and again thankfully, I don't have to move for Bunny's class. Except when it is time to leave I can barely bear my weight. The car is quite aways away and Mouse helps me get there. Jim is on a business trip for the week and it is Monday night. We get McDonalds, no complaints from the kids, as I know I will not be able to stand long enough to make dinner. The kids tucked me into a bed they made on the couch and put themselves to bed.

I wait until Thursday to see a doctor, thinking rest, ice, and elevation will fix it. This whole time I leave the couch only to get the kids to and from school and activities and for the most basic of necessity. Thursday, I know that I can't do violin lessons again. I call my parents to come help. Mom says sure, but when she gets here says but Dad is taking you to urgent care.

My ankle had broken and I may have  - I did - torn a tendon. The break was minor, but likely the cause of the tendon tear and all the pain.

It was an ordeal. it took a week to see the surgeon. Another to get an MRI, then another to see the surgeon again. Surgery is the only real option. Through out this time, I am not getting around well but wearing a boot to help and using a cane. I wanted my own Doctor's opinion on this and needed his approval for surgery. it took two weeks to see him. He agreed. So on November 17th I had the surgery to repair the tendon. Part of the problem was it was torn lengthwise with another tendon pressing it open again with every step I took. So even with as little walking as I was doing it couldn't heal.

This was incredibly frustrating. Not being able to do the normal things for myself, for my family was really awful. Birthdays past and the girls or my mom made the cakes, the kids wrapped each others presents. that doesn't sound so bad and in itself it wasn't but I felt each thing I couldn't do as a weight. and each thing I did was a struggle. My husband did more but one person can't do it all.

After the surgery I was in even more pain and not allowed to even place the foot on the ground. I had a scooter to kneel on to move around but everything was exhausting. I want you to think for a minute about kneeling on one leg and standing on the other. Now think about taking your pants down to sit on a toilet  and then getting them back in place all without every letting your foot touch the ground. Did I mention I am a clutz?

This lasted for Six weeks. It took Thanksgiving, and all of Christmas. I knit and I made quiet a lot of videos. (they are on my youtube channel) I did not write.

The cast is off. I am back in a boot. Walking again with a cane. My left leg is half the size of my right and each step hurts. I am not yet getting the kids to and from all the things. But today and yesterday I did a load of dishes and made myself breakfast, I bathed without help (although Jim was listening should I call) and I walked for the purpose solely of walking and retraining my body. I am still in pain, but I am getting stronger.

I hope you are well. I hope you realize it. I hope if you aren't you are holding on to what you can.

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